When people say they are “by referral only” what does that really mean? 

Whenever someone new calls me, my first question to them is always, “How did you hear about me?” Sometimes they found me online, but 9 out of 10 times they heard about me through another person. Even the people that found me online, only picked up the phone and dialed my number because of my online reviews. The testimony of another human is the number one way to explode your business.

But why?

The Triangle of Trust

People want to work with someone they know, like, and trust. Trust being the key part of that equation. When you need something, and don’t know who can help, you probably seek the advice of someone you know, like, and trust. 

Referring someone we know to another person we know happens all the time. On the personal side, think blind dates, babysitters, or doctors. It’s part of the networking process. The reason an introduction works is because trust can be transferred. We call it “implied trust”.

Here are the steps of an introduction, simplified:

1.     I trust a Financial Advisor. 

2.     I have a friend who trusts me. (Someone in my Cadre)

3.     My friend needs a Financial Advisor. (They are trying to solve for X)

4.     I describe the Financial Advisor I trust to my friend and share why I trust him and make the introduction.

5.     My friend trusts the Financial Advisor I trust, enough to engage him based on my referral.

The Level of Implied Trust:

The second question I always ask is, “what did they say?” Most people miss this step, but it’s equally as important as understanding who referred you. The quality and level of trust transferred will directly depend on what was said.

If I shared that the Financial Advisor always got back to me quickly, I transferred reliability. If I gave an example of how the Financial Advisor showed that he cared more about doing the right thing for me as his client than getting more work for himself, I transferred that he had integrity. If I described something the Financial Advisor did that helped my company save money and time, I transferred credibility.

And while it’s up to the referrer to transfer trustworthiness, it’s up to the person referred to retain that trustworthiness through his/her own interactions. 

The Secret to NEVER Cold Calling Ever Again! 

Most people understand why it’s important to get referrals in business. Not only because you need the lead, but the quality of the business is 10x better if the person was referred the right way. What people don’t always realize is the importance of being referred to other professionals. Let me say that again. When you want something, don’t just go online and google, “financial advisors near me”. Ask around for the introduction. 

Here is why…

1.     I want to work with a Financial Advisor. (Trying to solve for X)

2.     I have a friend that I trust. (Someone in my Cadre)

3.     My friend has a Financial Advisor he/she trusts.

4.     I ask my friend why he/she trusts his/her Financial Advisor, and ask him/her to make the introduction. 

5.     Not only do I trust the recommendation of my friend, but the Financial Advisor has to answer my call. If he/she doesn’t… he/she not only risks losing my trust, but the relationship he/she has with my friend is in jeopardy. 

Let me explain that in a little more depth. If I call that financial advisor and say, “Hey Fred, my friend Sally gave me your number and said we just had to meet. Sally told me all about how you helped her family last year. She mentioned that you communicated often and made the whole process easy. I’ve been looking for a good financial advisor to work with, and after talking with Sally, I think I would be missing out if I didn’t give you a call. 

Imagine if Fred’s response was, “I already have a mortgage lender that I work with, and I’m just too busy right now.” He isn’t just blowing me off, but he is risking his relationship with Sally. When you are properly referred, it’s no longer a cold call; and you are almost guaranteed the yes! 

Be Honest! 
Be careful. You put your own trustworthiness on the line when you transfer trust. You don’t want someone you introduce to be disappointed. If you think there is a good match, but you don’t know much about the person you are referring, be sure to be honest. It’s ok to say, “I know this person to be good at her job and she’s really smart, but I’ve never worked with her, so you’ll probably want to talk to her yourself and ask her more questions.” 

Take Action

Try this out yourself in a business or social setting. Think of how you refer contractors, business colleagues, and other professionals. Pay attention to both referrals shared with you, and to those you give. And practice transferring trust.